this just amused me to no end today and that made me happy, so i will share.

"my proportional sensors are on the fritz and things are getting blown out of reasonable size," he said.

i replied with, "i’m sorry today is blowing. my brain is loose and rolling about in my skull."

"well, at least it’s mutual. misery loves company, or whatever." was his answer . . .

yeah, she does. i met misery once. i was just sitting around, minding my own business when this girl sits down by me and starts talking incessantly. she invited me over and said she looooved company. that was my first clue that i’d met misery . . . i declined to visit her and she moved in one day when i was at the grocer’s. my room mates didn’t think anything of letting a strange girl in, but i guess that was my fault for keeping to myself so much – they’d never really met my friends and since she could talk intelligently about me . . . you can see how they were confused, i’m sure.

anyways, she moved right in and it was hell from that moment on. she wore my clothes, she painted my room, she wore my clothes while painting my room . . . she ate all my food and chewed on my shoes. she was a mess and horrible to live with but one thing that could be said for her, she loved company and i was never lonely.

of course, after six months of never feeling *lonely*, something had to give. there were scratched cd’s, little cigarette burns in most of my sheer nylon tops, and worst of all…the objects in my “toy drawer” were not quite where i had left them. that was the final straw really. most other things i could stand, but it just seemed to be the final violation. so i plotted. it’s amazing how simple you can make a death work when you want to. just reroute a wire ever so slightly and scrape just a little bit of the “realistic latex covering” aside with an x-acto knife and voila! a scene that even the coroner doesn’t want to look into any more than is absolutely necessary.

it's not like i had to scrape much away, what with her excessive usage and all and when i was done, i hid it under the bed knowing full well that if i hid it, she'd move heaven and hell to find and use it above all others.

i called on lunch and let her know that i'd be working late so she'd have to amuse herself for the evening and then i made reservations at tu hai for me and my friend, kat. she suggested calling the rest of our group and i agreed and altered those reservations to be one of the private salons off the bar. i figured that it was friday anyways, so why work all that late? it's not like my boss sneaks in on the weekend to check progress or anything - hell, half the time he's not even there on friday and always has at least a half day so he can "work on his stroke". in reality, he's working on his secretary, but i guess that he wasn't exactly untruthful . . .

i knocked off early and met up with kat and we had some drinks to get us through happy hour and ordered a pu-pu platter and nibbled for a bit. by the time we should have been ordering dinner, we'd decided to have a tray of egg rolls and few more rounds of drinks, we'd taken off our shoes and moved to the salon so we could lounge on the floor and tell our secrets . . . soft lighting, soft music, soft couches and rich colors. the room was just about as intoxicating as the drinks that were magically staying filled and the joy of seeing my close friends.

it was all so comfortable and relaxing that the shrill screech of my cell phone startled me and my hand shook as i fumbled it out of my purse. one of my roommates, mark, was on the phone telling me that our house was burning down. maybe it was the alcohol or it could have been the shock but i just sat there laughing for about five minutes until kat took the phone and talked to mark and i just smiled at the way the lights played in her bright auburn curls and watched the lipstick lines tilt and sway as she spoke to him. i was sitting less than two feet away but all i couldn't actually hear anything she was saying. the world was in vibrant intricate detail but my head was filled with a dull empty static. i knew misery had something to do with this.