Our neighbor Jeff came walking up about then with his head bowed and his shoulders hunched over a small box he was carrying. Somehow, seeing him without his usual “you want me, you know you do” smile brought me crashing back to reality. My apartment had caught on fire. Even if the fire failed to destroy everything, there was no way of knowing what survived all of the water. Then it really hit me…Xan. Was my cat okay?! She had been my closest companion for almost four years now and I had forgotten about her. A friend at work had given her to me because he had something like ten cats already. She was the runt of the litter, and I thought she was going to cry forever when she first came home. Her name was is short for Xanthippe, the legendary nagging wife of Socrates. It was part of a running gag with my ex, Felix. We had agreed long ago that all female cats should be named for difficult women. His latest was Lilith. We still go out for Chinese every couple of weeks and talk on the phone at least twice a week. I guess realizing he left me for Johnny made it easier to get over. Xan hated his other cat Lucretia, but we got along fine.

I had just started looking about frantically for a fireman to ask when I noticed Jeff holding the box he had been carrying out to me. Inside was a soaking, shivering, and extremely pissed-off Xan. She clung right under my chin with all four paws when I picked her up. Just over the top of her head was that infamous Jeff smile, and when I gave him the standard answer of “OK. OK. Maybe you’re kind of cute,” my voice only broke a little.

Suddenly, I heard a familiar voice rushing towards me crooning, "Oh, honey, are you OK? I came as soon as I heard! Poor baby, my poor, poor, Baby!"

I tore my eyes from Jeff and set aside my new evaluation of him to find out just why Jack was talking like that to me as that crap nauseates me to no end but as I turned towards him, I saw Misery walk right into his arms!

Now, I know I officially broke it off in January, but he'd sworn that no one else would do so we'd been casually dating and testing the waters since March now, so I was a little shocked. I was not, however, the only one. I guess my face showed everything I was thinking and the weight of my stare caused Jack to look up and become white as a sheet when he saw me. He just stood there, looking confused, embarrassed and a little . . . well . . . defiant. I had to look away to get myself under control and registered a look of disgust from Kat and something like radiant glee crossed with loathing from Jeff - both pointed at Jack and Misery. Wow, I never took Kat's little comments seriously but I guess I kinda stepped in it with that jerk.

Speaking of stepping in it, I decided to look at my feet. Partially because I was a coward and didn't need to learn anything else and also because I realized suddenly that we were standing in the "no man's land" where most the dog owners took their dogs for walks because the office can't see back here and the maintenance guys just run the riding mower and skip the rest for the same reason. I was standing is something soft that I didn't want to examine too closely.

So much for today getting better, I thought until Xan licked a tear off my chin and I remembered that there were more important things that a two-legged rat and that stupid strumpet.

I slid a glance up to see Kat watching Jeff who was looking at me with a look that I’d never seen on his face before . . . something soft and sweet.

This is just too crazy. I need someone to wake me from this dream 'cause I don’t have weird dreams, that is Mark’s department. His were enough to get someone committed! In fact, I don’t usually remember my dreams at all! I choked on a sobbing laugh that bubbled in the back of my throat.

Standing there in that poopy field behind the smoldering remains of my apartment with a wet cat and tears streaming down my face I was the most lost and alone I’d ever felt.