After a few minutes, Johnny came back in with a bottle of white zinfandel and my cigarettes. He lit one for me and poured us both a glass of wine, saying "So, we have to talk about Jeff eventually but first I want to hear about the roommate from hell."
"I don't even know where to start with her. We met at a day spa. One of the presents Jack gave me to make up for another night spent out with his buddies instead of me. I was sitting there, neck deep in mud and not really very happy about it when she slid into the bath next to mine. I was running through my head all of the reasons why I should just jump out of that tub and run screaming away from the health Nazi bitches, when she started talking to me."
"You know, the mud is kind of gross at first but it feels so good once you get past that," she said.
“I wouldn't know," I answered. "I'm still wondering exactly how I got roped into this."
"Well, I don't remember there being any rule that says you have to take a mud bath. So how did you end up in here?"
"I don't know," I sighed. “I’ve never done one of these day spa things, so I was nervous when I came through the door. And the girls were so sweet and so reassuring, and told me that I just HAD to try the mud bath. I tried to argue for a few minutes, but I just ended up feeling rude. So, here I am."
"Wow. I hated it the first time I got in, but my best friend talked me through. She died in a car wreck last year, so I try to come whenever I can as sort of a tribute thing."
"I hate to hear that," I told her, "but it's cool that you have your own way to remember her. It must have been really hard to lose her in such a senseless way."
"Well,” she answered, "she *was* completely blasted when the wreck happened. I guess it was just really lucky that no one else was hurt."
"With that kind of icebreaker honey," Johnny giggled, "I can't wait to hear where the rest of the conversation went!"
"The weird thing is that I can't really remember a whole lot of it after that. I know we started talking about a little of everything, and ended up laughing and joking like old friends by the time we got out of the tubs. So it didn't seem weird at all when she invited me out for dinner and drinks. We went and continued talking about recent breakups, where each other lived, and all that. We went out a few more times, and then she just appeared at my apartment one day with all of her stuff."